“Turn the other cheek” has a whole new meaning now. The circle on my left side that the nurse drew on my bum now has a pretty black and purple bruise filling the entire thing. I do get two days off from IM shots (but I still had to do two subq ones yesterday) but I start back up again tomorrow with PIO. I’ve been in considerable pain ever since day three of Menopur. The stuff works I’ll give you that but not without constant stabbing pain in my ovaries.
I had a follicle check last week in Texas. The u/s was awful. It wasn’t awful in the sense that things didn’t look good. I had a bunch of follies and my lining was good but I had horrific pain during the entire thing. I could actually compare the pain to passing a kidney stone. Yes, it was that bad. It was obviously attributed to the u/s wand pushing up against my ovaries-which are very swollen and tender. The tech wouldn’t tell me how many follies I had nor how big they were. I’m somewhat good at reading a u/s now so I’m guessing that I had around 12ish follies and they were between 14-18mm. 12 isn’t bad. I was just hoping for more. Quality over quantity I guess.
Tomorrow is the egg retrieval. Please pray that everything goes smoothly. I get nervous for just about everything in life and so, I’m nervous for this too. I guess I just want to know how it will all turn out. All the eggs will be fertilized tomorrow as well. Pray that God’s will would be done. My heart’s desire is that every egg will fertilize perfectly, that there will be little fragmentation, and the quality would be good. I’ll know on Thursday how they all turn out. I’ll post pics of them if they give them to me.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
IVF Day 15
Isn't that pic great and a little bit creepy? :) I just had to share it.
I started the Menopur injections today and I hate them. I'm doing 300iu (which is 4 vials to 1 liquid) in a very large needle. My mom, who is giving them to me (Dh is out of town), actually said, "Oh, wow." when she saw it. Back when I did PIO shots about a year ago, I never had the alcohol wipes with the pain reliever. Let me just say, it's not pain free, but they certainly help the sting of the initial prick. I think I only have another 8 or 9 more days of those before I get a one day break from needles. It's amazing what I can get used to.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
IVF Day 8
IVF Day 8
Another day, another RE appt.
I called my RE at the beginning of the week about getting af and I never did hear back from them. I was not a happy person when I walked into the RE’s office today. At least Dh was there, which made things slightly better. After waiting an hour and 10 minutes to be called back, the first thing a nurse asked was what meds I was taking. I said Lupron and she said, “Your doing 10 units, right?” WHAT? I got upset too easily and huffed, “No one told me to do 10, I was told 20.” Another nurse then explained that because I got af I was to go down to 10 units of Lupron. This is strike number two for this RE’s office. First they failed to tell me to start the Lupron all together and then they fail to tell me to cut the units in half. Because I’ve been doing 20 units the entire time, I barely have any Lupron left. Tricare won’t allow me to get anymore so I had to pay for another bottle out of pocket.
Everything else is still on track with the IVF, despite af. My u/s was very good today. My lining is where it should be and my ovaries are quiet. (Lupron is a drug that is used to shut my ovaries down so they won’t produce any follicles all while sucking all the estrogen out of my body…lovely stuff I must say. It’s actually a lower dose medication that is used to suppress endo.) Anyway, I’m down to 5 units of Lupron for another week and then I start the strong stuff. I then start two injections a day. No one mentioned that to me until today. I was told that I have to do Menopur in my tush and Lupron in my stomach. I always did Menopur in my stomach…a subcutaneous injection…until now. I was told that patients are seeing better, larger follicles when the Menopur is injected into a muscle. LUCKY ME. I am NOT looking forward to it. I thought I had another couple weeks before I started the butt shots. The nurse drew circles on my bum so Dh (or whoever ends up giving them to me) knows where to stick me. The one week countdown has begun…
Another day, another RE appt.
I called my RE at the beginning of the week about getting af and I never did hear back from them. I was not a happy person when I walked into the RE’s office today. At least Dh was there, which made things slightly better. After waiting an hour and 10 minutes to be called back, the first thing a nurse asked was what meds I was taking. I said Lupron and she said, “Your doing 10 units, right?” WHAT? I got upset too easily and huffed, “No one told me to do 10, I was told 20.” Another nurse then explained that because I got af I was to go down to 10 units of Lupron. This is strike number two for this RE’s office. First they failed to tell me to start the Lupron all together and then they fail to tell me to cut the units in half. Because I’ve been doing 20 units the entire time, I barely have any Lupron left. Tricare won’t allow me to get anymore so I had to pay for another bottle out of pocket.
Everything else is still on track with the IVF, despite af. My u/s was very good today. My lining is where it should be and my ovaries are quiet. (Lupron is a drug that is used to shut my ovaries down so they won’t produce any follicles all while sucking all the estrogen out of my body…lovely stuff I must say. It’s actually a lower dose medication that is used to suppress endo.) Anyway, I’m down to 5 units of Lupron for another week and then I start the strong stuff. I then start two injections a day. No one mentioned that to me until today. I was told that I have to do Menopur in my tush and Lupron in my stomach. I always did Menopur in my stomach…a subcutaneous injection…until now. I was told that patients are seeing better, larger follicles when the Menopur is injected into a muscle. LUCKY ME. I am NOT looking forward to it. I thought I had another couple weeks before I started the butt shots. The nurse drew circles on my bum so Dh (or whoever ends up giving them to me) knows where to stick me. The one week countdown has begun…
Sunday, November 8, 2009
IVF day 3
*sigh* I’m pretty upset. I got af despite all the medical efforts to keep it away. Apparently, Provera doesn’t work for me. I don’t know what it all means but it’s just irritating. I want to blame the nurse for not telling me to start the meds last week when I was supposed to (and I didn’t know it!!) I have to call my RE tomorrow and try to explain it (I’m doing IVF, I got af, what do I do now??) to the person who answers the phone so that they will get me a nurse to call me back. I hate this. I really hate this. The problem all along was that I can’t wait another month and now I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to. I noticed very little differences in this af vs. the ones before the surgery. (From that I’ve read, endo symptoms should be gone after the surgery.) That tells me that it’s already coming back, despite my best efforts at the endo diet.
I'm still doing the Provera (10mg-not the 5mg like I said before) and the Lupron. Who knows what will happen next...
I'm still doing the Provera (10mg-not the 5mg like I said before) and the Lupron. Who knows what will happen next...
Friday, November 6, 2009
IVF Day 1
IVF Day 1
So, apparently I was supposed to start my injections last week, the day of my last RE appt. When I said I hadn’t been doing them, I got a troubled look from my nurse. All this time I thought I was to wait until I got AF (A BIG miscommunication on their part. Also, it’s written all over my Lupron box that I shouldn’t take it if I’m pregnant or could be pregnant…HELLO!?! I could have been!). If AF starts, I have to wait another MONTH before I can proceed with IVF-which is not a good thing. I was put on Provera to stop it but I also have to start Lupron shots today. Lupron is the easiest and friendliest of my injections on my body. It’s just a small needle- ½ inch long-and given in my stomach every day. I’ve done IVF before, but not from the beginning. This part is all new to me. (I did do Lupron for 6+weeks about a year ago for my FET but never for IVF).
I thought maybe we were going to have problems with timing IVF because we are leaving town for two weeks to go to Texas (Dh goes TDY for a week to San Antonio and I’m going to tag along and go to Houston. Then we’re spending another week in there for Thanksgiving.) When I asked about how it was all going to work, I was told again that we can’t postpone another month because I may not have that much time given my endo severity. The plan (I love plans) is that I’m going to get monitored (do u/s’s and blood draws) in Texas and as soon as we get home, I’ll have my egg retrieval. Another small possible hitch may be that I’ll need a ride home from the egg retrieval because they knock me out for it and I’m not sure if Dh can take more time off for that. I guess I’ll figure it out as we get closer to the date. (Around Nov 30th)
I want to record how much of the meds I’m using (for reference later so just bear with me)
Today I did:
5 mg of Provera
20 units of Lupron using a 28 ½ G needle
I again went through my fertility meds box and am completely amazed at how many needles I now have. (if I thought I had a lot before…watch out!) I compared the sizes and have found that the needles for my FET were smaller so I may be doing a little swap out.
Here is a pic of my needle sizes. I do have one more size not included but it’s pretty close to the first one on the left (which I use for Lupron only). The last one is only used for mixing the meds (no that thing doesn’t actually enter my body, thank the Lord!) My current pharmacy sent me a bunch of the 25G needles (the second from the right) to use for my butt shots but man that thing is MASSIVE. Maybe you can't tell in the pic but in real life, that thing is enormous! I’m used to using the middle one for that but I don’t think I’ll have enough of those to get me through three weeks. It should be interesting!
So, apparently I was supposed to start my injections last week, the day of my last RE appt. When I said I hadn’t been doing them, I got a troubled look from my nurse. All this time I thought I was to wait until I got AF (A BIG miscommunication on their part. Also, it’s written all over my Lupron box that I shouldn’t take it if I’m pregnant or could be pregnant…HELLO!?! I could have been!). If AF starts, I have to wait another MONTH before I can proceed with IVF-which is not a good thing. I was put on Provera to stop it but I also have to start Lupron shots today. Lupron is the easiest and friendliest of my injections on my body. It’s just a small needle- ½ inch long-and given in my stomach every day. I’ve done IVF before, but not from the beginning. This part is all new to me. (I did do Lupron for 6+weeks about a year ago for my FET but never for IVF).
I thought maybe we were going to have problems with timing IVF because we are leaving town for two weeks to go to Texas (Dh goes TDY for a week to San Antonio and I’m going to tag along and go to Houston. Then we’re spending another week in there for Thanksgiving.) When I asked about how it was all going to work, I was told again that we can’t postpone another month because I may not have that much time given my endo severity. The plan (I love plans) is that I’m going to get monitored (do u/s’s and blood draws) in Texas and as soon as we get home, I’ll have my egg retrieval. Another small possible hitch may be that I’ll need a ride home from the egg retrieval because they knock me out for it and I’m not sure if Dh can take more time off for that. I guess I’ll figure it out as we get closer to the date. (Around Nov 30th)
I want to record how much of the meds I’m using (for reference later so just bear with me)
Today I did:
5 mg of Provera
20 units of Lupron using a 28 ½ G needle
I again went through my fertility meds box and am completely amazed at how many needles I now have. (if I thought I had a lot before…watch out!) I compared the sizes and have found that the needles for my FET were smaller so I may be doing a little swap out.
Here is a pic of my needle sizes. I do have one more size not included but it’s pretty close to the first one on the left (which I use for Lupron only). The last one is only used for mixing the meds (no that thing doesn’t actually enter my body, thank the Lord!) My current pharmacy sent me a bunch of the 25G needles (the second from the right) to use for my butt shots but man that thing is MASSIVE. Maybe you can't tell in the pic but in real life, that thing is enormous! I’m used to using the middle one for that but I don’t think I’ll have enough of those to get me through three weeks. It should be interesting!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Happy anniversary!
Happy anniversary to me and this blog! This blog has become something of healing for me, a sort of therapy for the stress of infertility. I can honestly say that I feel better once I write. Sometimes my thoughts and ideas aren’t as clear as I’d like on the page but I know what I’m saying. I know I’m not the most positive person, and I haven’t tried to be. I’m real. I’m human. I struggle much with infertility. My triumphs are few and far in between but I know that the one and only thing I can count on is Jesus. The only thing that keeps me grounded is Jesus. I don’t have a success story to boast about. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but I know who can get me there. One year gone and one year stronger.
I had my follow up (FINALLY) with my RE last week and things went really, really well. I walked away encouraged. And that’s something that hasn’t happened in a while. I did have a u/s (by the way, since moving to AZ I’ve had every u/s with my actual RE and not a nurse or tech…that’s very different than what I’m used to…and the fact that he is male STILL creeps me out but I’m getting more used to it.) My uterus is completely healed as are my incisions. My RE actually said my uterus looked amazing. Now I can add that to the strange and almost disturbing sayings to my collection. (According to an Idaho x-ray tech, I also have a pretty cervix. And yes, I do think that just sounds wrong.) My lining was thick and I ovulated just two weeks after the surgery. My RE was surprised when I said that but it was confirmed by the u/s that the pain on my left side was indeed ovulation. No fluid was mentioned. The biggest thing about that appt was that I was going to plead NOT to do the suppression meds. He said that since we trying to get pg, doing the meds wouldn’t be my best option. YAYYYYY!!!!! However, I was told that I need to pg as soon as possible. Obviously I’m OK with that…the problem is how to get there. I was given two options.
1. Try two rounds of Clomid with injections with IUI’s then move to IVF if that doesn’t work.
Or
2. Go straight to IVF.
I chose number 2. Now, I’m going to set some things straight about the way we (me and Dh) do IVF. If you’ve never experienced it, or done in depth research on the subject I don’t feel like you can give advice or your opinion on the moral or ethical side of IVF to us. We both firmly believe that life begins at conception. When an egg and sperm meet, it is a human LIFE. Sometimes women who do IVF create a lot of life (20+ embryos) and don’t intend to use them, let them die, or let them be used for research. I don’t agree with that. Unfortunately, my babies die very easily and only God has control over which ones lives and who doesn’t. I DON’T DECIDE. I also whole heartily disagree with selective reduction and I will sign a waiver not allowing them to abort any of my embryos. That’s non-negotiable for us. With that being said, we’re doing IVF beginning next cycle. I don’t know how much time I have until the endo comes back so we’re going straight to the big guns. I do have to mention that things are done differently at this RE. They give me the meds directly right at the office. I was shocked when they handed me a 14 day supply of Lupron injections (that I will start as soon as I start af) and charged me $300. Normally, I would have been given a prescription for it which I promptly asked for because Tricare actually covers that med. I ended up paying $3 and it will be delivered to my house next week. You just can’t beat that.
I’m going to be writing throughout my IVF experience this time around. This will be it. This second round of IVF will be our last push with meds for a baby. We’re done after this. Sure, we’ll always try naturally, but I just can’t take the stress and pain of it all. Dh, at this point, is refusing to give me the progesterone in oil butt shots and I refuse to give them to myself so, does anyone want to volunteer to be my butt shot giver? :)
Wow, I think I wrote enough…
I had my follow up (FINALLY) with my RE last week and things went really, really well. I walked away encouraged. And that’s something that hasn’t happened in a while. I did have a u/s (by the way, since moving to AZ I’ve had every u/s with my actual RE and not a nurse or tech…that’s very different than what I’m used to…and the fact that he is male STILL creeps me out but I’m getting more used to it.) My uterus is completely healed as are my incisions. My RE actually said my uterus looked amazing. Now I can add that to the strange and almost disturbing sayings to my collection. (According to an Idaho x-ray tech, I also have a pretty cervix. And yes, I do think that just sounds wrong.) My lining was thick and I ovulated just two weeks after the surgery. My RE was surprised when I said that but it was confirmed by the u/s that the pain on my left side was indeed ovulation. No fluid was mentioned. The biggest thing about that appt was that I was going to plead NOT to do the suppression meds. He said that since we trying to get pg, doing the meds wouldn’t be my best option. YAYYYYY!!!!! However, I was told that I need to pg as soon as possible. Obviously I’m OK with that…the problem is how to get there. I was given two options.
1. Try two rounds of Clomid with injections with IUI’s then move to IVF if that doesn’t work.
Or
2. Go straight to IVF.
I chose number 2. Now, I’m going to set some things straight about the way we (me and Dh) do IVF. If you’ve never experienced it, or done in depth research on the subject I don’t feel like you can give advice or your opinion on the moral or ethical side of IVF to us. We both firmly believe that life begins at conception. When an egg and sperm meet, it is a human LIFE. Sometimes women who do IVF create a lot of life (20+ embryos) and don’t intend to use them, let them die, or let them be used for research. I don’t agree with that. Unfortunately, my babies die very easily and only God has control over which ones lives and who doesn’t. I DON’T DECIDE. I also whole heartily disagree with selective reduction and I will sign a waiver not allowing them to abort any of my embryos. That’s non-negotiable for us. With that being said, we’re doing IVF beginning next cycle. I don’t know how much time I have until the endo comes back so we’re going straight to the big guns. I do have to mention that things are done differently at this RE. They give me the meds directly right at the office. I was shocked when they handed me a 14 day supply of Lupron injections (that I will start as soon as I start af) and charged me $300. Normally, I would have been given a prescription for it which I promptly asked for because Tricare actually covers that med. I ended up paying $3 and it will be delivered to my house next week. You just can’t beat that.
I’m going to be writing throughout my IVF experience this time around. This will be it. This second round of IVF will be our last push with meds for a baby. We’re done after this. Sure, we’ll always try naturally, but I just can’t take the stress and pain of it all. Dh, at this point, is refusing to give me the progesterone in oil butt shots and I refuse to give them to myself so, does anyone want to volunteer to be my butt shot giver? :)
Wow, I think I wrote enough…
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