I’ve come to the conclusion that TTC sucks. Well, it does. This cycle wasn’t as bad emotionally as some of the past ones though. I got the same negative pregnancy test that I have for a million years and it didn’t shake me up too much this time around. Thank you to all who have been praying for us. I’m sure that’s what has kept me from going off the deep end. We’re going to be taking a break from meds for a couple months because of moving (and yes, I’m procrastinating getting moving stuff done right now actually). I get to go through the referral process all over again which means I have to get an appt with my primary care doc then find an RE and get a consult, which by the way, takes for-stinkin’-ever. I still don’t have my records from this RE and frankly, I don’t care. Hopefully they make it to AZ someday but right now I’m content NOT seeing an RE for a while. The 100 mile trek to Tucson three times a week freaks me out a bit as does the logistics of shots and timing IVF with Dh’s work schedule. Ekk, I don’t even want to think about it yet. I’ll take my two months of “rest” thank you.

This time moving seems somewhat less complicated than a year ago. IVF really messed things up last time. For those of you who don’t know the story, I feel like sharing it right now. If you know it, you can skip to the end and just look at the pictures.

I was heading into my forth cycle of doing IUI (Intrauterine insemination) and I started feeling ovulation pains on CD6. When I went into my CD8 u/s I had 20 follicles between 14-16mm each. I was glad to know that my pain was justified but I was not expecting 20 follicles! I was just hoping for two. The previous three cycles I only produced one follicle each time. I literally had 10 minutes to decide if we (Dh and I that is) wanted to do IVF or cancel the entire cycle. In a panic, I was on the phone trying to talk to Dh at work (who I think was in a meeting) to figure out what to do. After we agreed to proceed, my meds were quadrupled and I had to do injections to stop me from ovulating on my own. My egg retrieval surgery was scheduled 6 days before we physically drove out of Idaho. What in the world was I thinking?? The actual surgery wasn’t too bad. They took out 20 follicles and 17 of them contained eggs. Of those 17, 12 fertilized but only five survived to be implanted back into me. I had three embryos put back in three days after my surgery and had the other two frozen for later use. I had to be on bed rest for 3 days after the implantation all while watching movers pack up my house from my inflatable bed. Yeah, boy was that fun…Ahh the sound of packing tape in the morning. My wonderful, dear mother came out to help and to drive me from Idaho to Kansas since I was so sick from the meds that I could barely sit up. Oh and did I mention that my husband had to go to Vegas the entire time? Looking back, I should have cancelled the cycle to take off the stress and kept the money for an IVF cycle that didn’t involve moving across the country. To think that I want to do it all over again once we move is daunting but I know it’s our best (and possibly last) chance at having a child biologically.

Here is a picture of our two beautiful babies right before the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) 8 days past conception:

And a picture of my medicine box. I know you can't really see how big it is but I tried! (It's about 1 1/2 feet tall!)