8 weeks and counting

I guess I should update my blog...I've been getting quite a bit of emails from ya'll asking me what's going on so I think it's time I tell you!

I had a scary spotting episode on Monday and completely freaked out. It was just several spots of brown blood but it got me thinking of the past and feeling more terrified than I have in a very long time. My last miscarriage began with brown blood and progressed from there. By the time I had a u/s (I think I was just over 8 weeks last time) the baby was already dead. You cannot even begin to imagine the fear that I felt on Monday. I called Dh at work crying hysterically...so much so that he thought someone broke in the house and was holding me hostage at gunpoint. I called my RE still crying and shaking and they said I could come in the next day for a u/s. Dh was able to go with me and I don't remember breathing through the u/s at all. My cervix was closed and the nurse was able to see where the bleed probably came from and showed me on the u/s. At that time I was 7 weeks 5 days along and there still was that beautiful heartbeat. The baby was fine and I wasn't bleeding at all by that point. Baby measured 9mm long.

Fast forward to Thursday (Jan 14): I still got to go back for ANOTHER u/s (my 5th one since finding out I was pg!) with my RE. Baby now measures 16mm! Personally, I think the nurse messed up the measurements because that's such a vast difference for only 2 days in between u/s's. I go back again next Thursday, Jan 21. I absolutely LOVE being monitored this much. It eases my mind more than you will ever know. (I'm still on PIO by the way and as much as I HATE it with a passion-I know it's worth every muscle ache and every scream of pain from the needle pinching the crap out of my bum. Four more weeks until I'm done!!!)

My next scary adventure will be finding an OB in this town and crawling through the hoops of Tricare.

I know people still have issues with IVF and I have gone over some of my thoughts and beliefs on the subject before but it still burns me that people have such strong opinions on something that know NOTHING about (infertility treatments in general). Just a word: I am a born again Christian and I think IVF is OK. I did NOT kill my embryos by doing IVF. I do not plan on killing ANY embryos that we still have. I would never do selective reduction. I would never donate any of our babies to research. I believe life begins with conception. PERIOD. Gender selection is just freaky and shouldn't be messed with. Rant over.

If you want something to read and have loads of time to do so, check out these comments: http://www.jillstanek.com/archives/2010/01/post_78.html

I love you all!!!