A New Day:

I had a (hopefully?) well meaning friend message me some big unsolicited advice and thoughts about our infertility journey last night after I posted my blog for the world to see.  It was pretty much everything you DON'T say to someone who is infertile.   After the loss of our first baby, some people said some things to me that I'll never forget.  Things like, "It must have been God's will." or "You're too stressed. You need to relax and it'll happen." Or even, "Maybe you should adopt because everyone I know that adopts gets pregnant."  It stung and hurt at my core.  During the last 5 years, I had come to peace about where we were as a family, though my heart always longed for more children.  I had grown some thick skin about those types of conversations but last night takes the cake for things said to me that NO one who is dealing with infertility should hear. Remember what your mama taught you?  If you don't have anything nice to say, SHUT UP.

I will say however, that the out pouring of prayer and encouragement out weighs the stupidity of some people mouths.  I appreciate your words and prayers of peace.  Thank you all for taking the time to reach out to me, offer a hug, etc.  And a big thank you to my sister who sent me a perfectly silly, make me smile gift of fake squishy swiss roll cakes! 

I had asked Dr. B his advice about what's going on.  He gave me a sliver of hope saying I should push on and continue with the meds so that's what I'm going to do.

While I'm not feeling much in my ovaries right now, I do feel your prayers. 

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Sunday, day 8 of stims:

We got some good news!  My estrogen level was 91 on Thursday, but today is was 999!  That's more like it!  I have 4 great follicles measuring around 14mm or 15mm and 5ish ones around 11mm.  That's something! (My lining was even 11mm which is PERFECT for a transfer.)  I'll be stimming another two days in hopes of getting those numbers up a bit.  I wish I could stim another three days but I'll be out of meds.  Four eggs is not really what I had in mind for this cycle but with the less aggressive protocol and the supplements and meds I've been on, the goal is quality over quantity-and obviously it's WAY better than the ONE decent follicle we saw on Thursday.  My ovaries are DEFINITELY feeling it now but they don't hurt anywhere near what I've experienced in the past. 

My egg retrieval is tentatively set for Thursday.  I go back in on Tuesday for another blood draw and follicle scan to make sure things look good....

In the words of my daughter, "God's got this, mom."

My two shots tonight