I’ve had my first RE appt in Arizona AND my second all in a week. I just don’t know how I feel about everything he’s proposing. The RE thinks I have endometriosis. He explained to me that both my old RE’s were pushing me too hard to get pg so he wants us to take a step back and figure out what’s causing the infertility and miscarriages. Makes sense to me but the only thing is is that figuring out if I have endo requires surgery. The RE is going to do laparoscopic surgery on my uterus and tubes on Oct. 8. If he finds endo, he’ll make two more incisions to scrape it all out. The RE firmly believes that once that is all taken care of, we should have no problem getting pg and carrying a baby to term. I’m skeptical at best. Dh is completely on board, however. When the RE did the u/s last week, he said my lining and uterus looked great and that it was possible that I was pg right now. Today’s u/s was just about identical except for the fact that I have a gallon of free fluid around my uterus again, which concerned him. Once again, endo was mentioned as the cause. Do I like this RE? I guess. Do I like the drive to Tucson? NO. This will be the last time I complain about the drive but I just have to get it out! The drive is TERRIBLE. I did Mountain Home to Boise and Lansing to Kansas City all relatively fine (45ish minutes each way) but Sierra Vista to Tucson is painful! I made it there in one hr and 20 minutes and one hr and 25 minutes home. Right now I’m just thankful that I don’t have to go to the RE again until Oct (unless I get spontaneously pg of course). I’m also happy that he told me that he would follow me through my first trimester if I did get pg. I know I’ve said this before, but having him follow me is the biggest reason for me going to an RE.
Dh and I watched “He’s Just not that into you” several weeks ago and we came to the same conclusion at about the same time. (I guess you’ll have to watch the movie to completely get what I’m trying to say.) I am the rule to infertility, not the exception. I’ve heard all the stories, “We adopted, and that’s when I got pregnant!” or “We stopped trying and that’s when I got pregnant!” Those are the exceptions…those kinds of things don’t happen to those of us who are the rule.
And one more thing. Why doesn’t Tricare pay for fertility treatments?? WHY? If someone had cancer, they would diagnose AND treat it. I have infertility. They will diagnose but not treat. It is a disease and something I can’t cure on my own! They will pay for meds (FSH drugs-$50/vial), every blood test that I get, and every u/s as long as we do timed intercourse but as soon as sperm is injected into my uterus by a doctor, everything has to be paid out of pocket. SAME DRUGS, SAME EXACT PROTOCOL but the sperm is washed and put into me through a catheter. That just REALLY bugs me. OK, rant over.
Some verses that get me through:
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him.” Psalms 37: 4 & 7a
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hallelujah! I finally got the referral for my new RE! OK, so it’s only been a week of waiting time but I think if I wouldn’t have gotten the other two already, I wouldn’t have been in such a panic. It never did post to the internet, but I got it in the mail today. I made the appt as soon as I saw the paper and my consult is next week!!! The only thing that sucks is that Dh can’t go AND I have to get a vaginal u/s done by a man. It actually gives me a bit of the creeps just thinking about it (I haven’t had one in 3 months!). I prefer a woman doc but there isn’t a female RE in Tucson. Normally, I will only see this male doc for an actual IVF procedure and the water u/s but I get the pleasure (ha! Not exactly the right word…) of getting a routine u/s from him next week. I’m going to be extremely uncomfortable. Yeah yeah, I KNOW he’s seen it all and what’s one vag vs. another but still! It’s MY vag he’s going to be seeing!
I still don’t have my records from KS yet and when I called about a month ago, no one even answered the phone. I’ve left messages but no one ever called me back. FINALLY, today I got a hold of someone. She assured me that she would look into it. I gave her the fax number to my new RE and she said she would call as soon as it faxed. Uh huh…we’ll see if that actually happens. That does make me wonder then if I will be getting a copy of them in the mail…if/when she calls, I’m going to ask again for a copy.
Ahhh, I feel so much better. I was lying awake last night thinking about what I’d have to do if the referral didn’t go through. I know worry will get me nowhere, especially when I should be trusting in the Lord. Another lesson learned. God has it all figured out! There is a plan and a purpose. I wish I could just remember that!
Alright, here is something funny. I just HAD to take a pic of this bruise (in the pic it is over a week old) but it is so gross! When I first noticed it, it was 95% black 5% purple (at least now it's turning green). What's funny is that I have NO idea how I got it!!! None!!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sweet! I got all three of the referrals that I wanted AND it wasn’t even the slightest problem for any of them. I barely had to plead my case. I went in armed with statistics from the CDC for both the RE’s in Tucson and knew exactly which one I wanted to go to. Here are some stats based on IVF success rates in 2006:
National averages from 80,313 IVF transfers: 35% pregnancy rate; 32% live birth rate
RE #1 (going by web site appearance and feel, I liked this one): out of 56 cycles they had a 25% pregnancy rate and a 23.2% live birth rate
RE #2: out of 124 cycles, they had a 53% pregnancy rate and a 46% live birth rate
Gee, which one would YOU choose? My RE in Idaho had a little better live birth rate than RE #2 but Kansas was worse. I had no problem getting a referral for the second one (and surprisingly they are in my insurance network) but it has not yet been approved by my insurance. The other two referrals WERE approved and I already made appointments for them. The first available appt for rheumatology was NOV 30! That is just ridiculous in my opinion so I opted to see someone other than an attending. By doing so, I got an appt for Oct 12. Nephrology however, is completely opposite. I got an appt one week from today. Go figure.
Here is something else I found very interesting from the CDC report:
“In 2006, 70,428 ART cycles were performed among women who had not previously given birth. However, about 27% of those cycles were reported by women with one or more previous pregnancies that had ended in miscarriage — we do not have information on whether these pregnancies ending in miscarriage were the result of ART or were conceived naturally. In all age groups, women who had a previous miscarriage were as likely to have a live birth as women who had never been pregnant. Thus, a history of unsuccessful pregnancy does not appear to be associated with lower chances for success during ART.”
(ART stands for Assisted Reproductive Technology)
I’m obviously a little more at ease about the fact that even with my two miscarriages, I’m just as likely to have a live birth just as someone who hasn’t had a miscarriage can through IVF. Amen to that!
National averages from 80,313 IVF transfers: 35% pregnancy rate; 32% live birth rate
RE #1 (going by web site appearance and feel, I liked this one): out of 56 cycles they had a 25% pregnancy rate and a 23.2% live birth rate
RE #2: out of 124 cycles, they had a 53% pregnancy rate and a 46% live birth rate
Gee, which one would YOU choose? My RE in Idaho had a little better live birth rate than RE #2 but Kansas was worse. I had no problem getting a referral for the second one (and surprisingly they are in my insurance network) but it has not yet been approved by my insurance. The other two referrals WERE approved and I already made appointments for them. The first available appt for rheumatology was NOV 30! That is just ridiculous in my opinion so I opted to see someone other than an attending. By doing so, I got an appt for Oct 12. Nephrology however, is completely opposite. I got an appt one week from today. Go figure.
Here is something else I found very interesting from the CDC report:
“In 2006, 70,428 ART cycles were performed among women who had not previously given birth. However, about 27% of those cycles were reported by women with one or more previous pregnancies that had ended in miscarriage — we do not have information on whether these pregnancies ending in miscarriage were the result of ART or were conceived naturally. In all age groups, women who had a previous miscarriage were as likely to have a live birth as women who had never been pregnant. Thus, a history of unsuccessful pregnancy does not appear to be associated with lower chances for success during ART.”
(ART stands for Assisted Reproductive Technology)
I’m obviously a little more at ease about the fact that even with my two miscarriages, I’m just as likely to have a live birth just as someone who hasn’t had a miscarriage can through IVF. Amen to that!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Changes
Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog! I guess not having a computer will cause that though.
So finding a church in a new town isn’t much fun. Actually, I don’t enjoy it at all. I’m a bit on the anti-social side and don’t much care for small talk and church searching has an uncanny way of making me feel uncomfortable. Anyway, for the past two weeks, we’ve been to Calvary Chapel, a non-denomination church. 1500 people with four weekend services is a bit different than what we’re used to as when we lived in Kansas, the church we attended only had 125 people and one service. It’s not bad, it’s just different. Last week as we were beginning to get into the message, Pastor Pat started by asking us, “What is your passion?” Now, as a person who’s gone to church all of my life, that’s not an unusual question and something I’ve been asked a lot. For once I was truthful, so in my mind I thought, “My passion lately has been about starting a family and wanting to raise up Godly children for the Lord.” As I was finishing my thought, the pastor said, “I see a lot of young couples out there who are probably ready and want to start a family. You probably want to raise up Godly kids in a Godly home and teach them the way of Christ.” Whoa…did he just say that?? Was the guy reading my mind?? He then went on, “While that’s all well and good, your passion needs to be Christ and Him alone.” SMACK. God gave me a good spanking that day and it was exactly what I needed. Look, I know the “right” things to say when it comes to church/God but I don’t think I’ve been honest with myself for quite a while. I’ve known since I was five who and what my passion should be and I would even think the “right” answer if a pastor asked “What is your passion?” But for a while now, I deceived myself into thinking that because I truly do want Godly, Christ serving children that it would be OK that Christ himself wasn’t number one. I was dead wrong. While it’s almost impossible for me to not to think about having kids (like, when I was in the grocery store the other day and I saw twin girls helping their mom, I got all choked up thinking that I may never have that) I’m pretty content right now. Maybe it’s the break from meds? Maybe it’s the prayers? Whatever is it, I firmly believe that God is in the middle of this and His timing is perfect. Now, I’m not perfect and I get angry about it (A LOT) but I finally see my focus changing. I’ve settled into a routine at home with a renewed prayer life and quiet time. God and I are getting to know each other again.
I don’t plan on working, at least not for a while. I think it’s good that most old people are retired when their body starts failing them. I don’t see how anyone can work with so many doctor appointments all the time. Seriously! On Monday I have my first official appt with my PCM. My goal is to get three referrals out of her. I hope I get one for a nephrologist (kidney guy), one for an RE, and one for a rheumatologist. Oh, and I want (well, not really want, more like need) to get my wisdom teeth pulled soon too (I was told to do it 8 years ago, and every other time I see a dentist). So you see, working just really complicates things. :)
Hopefully, I’ll update again soon.
So finding a church in a new town isn’t much fun. Actually, I don’t enjoy it at all. I’m a bit on the anti-social side and don’t much care for small talk and church searching has an uncanny way of making me feel uncomfortable. Anyway, for the past two weeks, we’ve been to Calvary Chapel, a non-denomination church. 1500 people with four weekend services is a bit different than what we’re used to as when we lived in Kansas, the church we attended only had 125 people and one service. It’s not bad, it’s just different. Last week as we were beginning to get into the message, Pastor Pat started by asking us, “What is your passion?” Now, as a person who’s gone to church all of my life, that’s not an unusual question and something I’ve been asked a lot. For once I was truthful, so in my mind I thought, “My passion lately has been about starting a family and wanting to raise up Godly children for the Lord.” As I was finishing my thought, the pastor said, “I see a lot of young couples out there who are probably ready and want to start a family. You probably want to raise up Godly kids in a Godly home and teach them the way of Christ.” Whoa…did he just say that?? Was the guy reading my mind?? He then went on, “While that’s all well and good, your passion needs to be Christ and Him alone.” SMACK. God gave me a good spanking that day and it was exactly what I needed. Look, I know the “right” things to say when it comes to church/God but I don’t think I’ve been honest with myself for quite a while. I’ve known since I was five who and what my passion should be and I would even think the “right” answer if a pastor asked “What is your passion?” But for a while now, I deceived myself into thinking that because I truly do want Godly, Christ serving children that it would be OK that Christ himself wasn’t number one. I was dead wrong. While it’s almost impossible for me to not to think about having kids (like, when I was in the grocery store the other day and I saw twin girls helping their mom, I got all choked up thinking that I may never have that) I’m pretty content right now. Maybe it’s the break from meds? Maybe it’s the prayers? Whatever is it, I firmly believe that God is in the middle of this and His timing is perfect. Now, I’m not perfect and I get angry about it (A LOT) but I finally see my focus changing. I’ve settled into a routine at home with a renewed prayer life and quiet time. God and I are getting to know each other again.
I don’t plan on working, at least not for a while. I think it’s good that most old people are retired when their body starts failing them. I don’t see how anyone can work with so many doctor appointments all the time. Seriously! On Monday I have my first official appt with my PCM. My goal is to get three referrals out of her. I hope I get one for a nephrologist (kidney guy), one for an RE, and one for a rheumatologist. Oh, and I want (well, not really want, more like need) to get my wisdom teeth pulled soon too (I was told to do it 8 years ago, and every other time I see a dentist). So you see, working just really complicates things. :)
Hopefully, I’ll update again soon.
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