I’ve had my first RE appt in Arizona AND my second all in a week. I just don’t know how I feel about everything he’s proposing. The RE thinks I have endometriosis. He explained to me that both my old RE’s were pushing me too hard to get pg so he wants us to take a step back and figure out what’s causing the infertility and miscarriages. Makes sense to me but the only thing is is that figuring out if I have endo requires surgery. The RE is going to do laparoscopic surgery on my uterus and tubes on Oct. 8. If he finds endo, he’ll make two more incisions to scrape it all out. The RE firmly believes that once that is all taken care of, we should have no problem getting pg and carrying a baby to term. I’m skeptical at best. Dh is completely on board, however. When the RE did the u/s last week, he said my lining and uterus looked great and that it was possible that I was pg right now. Today’s u/s was just about identical except for the fact that I have a gallon of free fluid around my uterus again, which concerned him. Once again, endo was mentioned as the cause. Do I like this RE? I guess. Do I like the drive to Tucson? NO. This will be the last time I complain about the drive but I just have to get it out! The drive is TERRIBLE. I did Mountain Home to Boise and Lansing to Kansas City all relatively fine (45ish minutes each way) but Sierra Vista to Tucson is painful! I made it there in one hr and 20 minutes and one hr and 25 minutes home. Right now I’m just thankful that I don’t have to go to the RE again until Oct (unless I get spontaneously pg of course). I’m also happy that he told me that he would follow me through my first trimester if I did get pg. I know I’ve said this before, but having him follow me is the biggest reason for me going to an RE.

Dh and I watched “He’s Just not that into you” several weeks ago and we came to the same conclusion at about the same time. (I guess you’ll have to watch the movie to completely get what I’m trying to say.) I am the rule to infertility, not the exception. I’ve heard all the stories, “We adopted, and that’s when I got pregnant!” or “We stopped trying and that’s when I got pregnant!” Those are the exceptions…those kinds of things don’t happen to those of us who are the rule.

And one more thing. Why doesn’t Tricare pay for fertility treatments?? WHY? If someone had cancer, they would diagnose AND treat it. I have infertility. They will diagnose but not treat. It is a disease and something I can’t cure on my own! They will pay for meds (FSH drugs-$50/vial), every blood test that I get, and every u/s as long as we do timed intercourse but as soon as sperm is injected into my uterus by a doctor, everything has to be paid out of pocket. SAME DRUGS, SAME EXACT PROTOCOL but the sperm is washed and put into me through a catheter. That just REALLY bugs me. OK, rant over.

Some verses that get me through:
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him.” Psalms 37: 4 & 7a