I am blown away by the people who have responded to this blog. You all have no idea how much it means to me that you would read this. (And that many of you continue to check up on me!!) I know a lot of you didn’t really know that all of this was going on so to hear your sweet words of encouragement just makes me so humble and so proud to call you my friends.
Dh and I are doing a bible study on Wednesdays and this week’s lesson knocked me on my butt. I have internal battles (moments where I think that life will be fine without children and other times I can’t even imagine it) about having children and the study reminded me how selfish I was and still can be about it. (“I want kids and I want them NOW!”) My heart’s desire is to have children, there is no denying that, but I don’t want it to consume me and I don’t want to push it more than I should with all these fertility treatments. A year ago, I may not have been able to handle throwing a baby shower or working with all the babies and pregnant moms at my job. I’ve been able to take a step back and let God take the reins. My fear though is that I will fall back to that pattern. Prayer IS the work.
Pain update: Finally today, I feel better. It has taken just about two weeks to feel somewhat normal again. I still get a pinch on my left side when I walk but it’s nothing that I can’t live with. At least it’s getting better and not worse.
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