Helpful Hints

I thought I'd create a list of some helpful hints/things I've learned along the way that I think you might like to know.

For someone about to start infertility treatments:

-Wear a shirt that can be pulled up past your elbow every time you go to the clinic. Expect to have your blood drawn every visit. (and hey, if you didn't have to, celebrate!!)

-Bring a pantie liner to every doc visit. If you have a vag u/s or other vag procedure, chances are you'll need it and don't expect the clinic to have one for you.

-Have a heating pad/herb pack ready after PIO shots. The heat helps disperse the oil in your tush so you don't knot up as much.

-Warm the vial of PIO in your hand before injecting. The warmer it is, the easier it will go in.

-If you have to get a sperm sample to the lab from your house you only have an hour to do so. Keep the sample warm by putting the jar in your bra or between your legs for the car ride. (I know that sounds bad but it works!)

-Concentrate on counting to 20 or on your breathing during uncomfortable procedures.. I know that sounds kind of generic but it actually REALLY helps to distract me.

-Plan something fun for the beginning of a new/the next cycle. That way if you don't get preg you'll still have something enjoyable to look forward to.

Helpful hints for everyone else:

-Don't ask someone when they are having children or why they haven't had kids yet. It's not your business whether they want them or don't.

-Do NOT say to someone with infertility issues, "Oh don't worry, one day you'll have kids." You don't know that. You're not God and there is a good chance that the person you're talking to really can't have them and what you just said stings. And even if they can have kids, that statement isn't helpful...at all.

-Do NOT say, "Just relax. It'll happen when it happens." Seriously, don't say it. A person with endo/male infertility/PCOS/immune issues/etc. can't just "relax" and BAM get pregnant.

-Do NOT say, "Just adopt. That's when you'll get pregnant." Really?! Because you've heard from a friend's brother's wife's cousin that she adopted and then got pregnant, then I will too? WISE UP.

-Do NOT say to a woman who's just had a miscarriage, "It was God's will." YOU HAVE NO RIGHT or AUTHORITY to say that, EVER.

-Do NOT say to a woman or about a woman who's just had a miscarriage, "At least she/you have other children." It does not matter how many children she has. That was a wanted/loved/desired child no matter if she has 20 kids or one. That comment can end a friendship.

-DO say that you are sorry. DO ask what you can do for your friend. Cry with her. Offer support and be sensitive about it. Sometimes baby showers, and seeing babies and pregnant mothers, and Mother's Day doesn't bother a woman who's tried to have children for years. Other times, it hurts more than anything in the world. ASK HER which way it is for her and respect her if it hurts.

-I know you all probably don't think that what you're saying to someone who has infertility issues is troublesome, but if you're offering advice and you've never dealt with it, you're probably hurting them.

I hope those hints were a little helpful. I'm sure there are many more. I'll update this when I remember them.

All Done!

That's a phrase Skittle says quite a lot these days...I thought it was fitting as a title since I am ALL DONE with testing and with PIO!

The biopsy...*sigh* I'm glad it's over. Really, the anticipation of it all was the most nerve wracking thing and when it came time to do the actual procedure, well, again, while it was uncomfortable, it wasn't the worst test I've ever had done. It's a lot like the water u/s, without the water and without the u/s (I know that doesn't make a lot of sense...but it's true!). The catheters are pretty similar and both started out the same way, except on the end of the cath, there was a thingy that clamped on and took a small piece of my uterus. USUALLY, the doc only has to do that ONE time, I was lucky enough to have to do it THREE times since he couldn't get enough tissue the first two times. That meant that for me, it took quite a bit longer and I had to have a catheter inserted through my cervix three times...the third time hurt enough to make me think, "oh, hey, that didn't feel so good." The biopsy is looking for uterine lining maturity and the paper I had to sign said it also was also a cancer screening. I should get the results in a week.

I'm just happy to be done with testing...the next step is to get AF (whenever that may be) and call AZ to figure out the FET.

Surgery and Skittle Update

I apologize for the formatting issues on my blog lately. I have to type it on my desktop computer and publish from my iPad. For some odd reason, I can't do both on the desktop. I get a java error every time...so, until I figure out what's up, my blog will have issues...sorry about that.

The septum surgery was a success. Really, I was in very little pain/discomfort (just some cramping to be expected). It was the anesthesia that made me feel yucky. I am a rare one who needs more then the average person to be put under. My body fights it and I just feel "off" for several days following procedures that require sedation. And, other than a blasted cold that I contracted right after the surgery, I feel good. I go in for my biopsy in a couple days (something I'm SOOO NOT looking forward to) and will report back on that later.

PIO sucks. I am so not kidding. Why has no one made a better version of progesterone yet?? WHY? Seriously! Either I have to leak nastiness all day from a vaginal suppository or take injections in my butt day after day...When I told DH about doing PIO again, I got 40 no's in ranging tones followed by 10 more no's with a sad face. Hello!? I'm the one who has to endure the monster needle!! All he has to do it jab it in my muscle-and push with all his might to get that stupid oil out of the syringe and into me. I've only been on it for a little over a week and I'm already bruised on both sides, with a large knot and itchiness on my right. You'd think that if I was having an allergic reaction that I'd have the itchies on both sides...humm...

Little Skittle is now 15 months old and such a happy kid! She amuses me...she really does. I find myself just watching her play or watching her read to herself in Chinese and I just smile. She's MY kid! She's talking up a storm these days. It really does sound like Chinese with English words thrown in and it makes me giggle. She had her check up a couple days ago and she's had a growth spurt! She's now 31 1/2 inches tall (78% percentile) and 19 lbs 6 oz (5% percentile). Tall and skinny-just like her auntie!

I was trying to think of some other "firsts" for her...but the only one I could think of is: a black eye. Yep, she got her first shiner over Thanksgiving weekend. She now tries to repeat most words she hears and my personal favorites are "Allie" and "Oliver"-her aunt and uncle's dogs! If she steps over something she says, "over" and just today I didn't change her diaper before putting her down for a nap-well, she reminded me saying, "diaper" over and over! Go Skittle go!

Septum Surgery

Today I had blood work done, a regular vaginal u/s and a water u/s done. My last water u/s was horrific (the one in KS) so I was very nervous going in to today's appt. The vag u/s was to check my ovaries to see if I had any dominant follicles growing (I did not) and to check out my uterus. My doc thought he saw a septum (tissue dividing my uterus in half) and so the water u/s was mainly to rule that out plus to check for any polups and/or fibroids. The water u/s wasn't exactly painful, though definitely uncomfortable (think a long drawn out pap smear with a catheter like device going into your uterus with a balloon to hold your cervix open, while also having a vag u/s all while having your uterus fill with water. Yeah, fun). Anyway, a slight septum was shown. Not exactly something I was expecting since I've been through a billion infertility procedures already, I thought someone would have caught this before now. Dr. H told me that 50% of 1st trimester miscarriages happen because of septums. That was enough to convince me to have it removed. My surgery is scheduled for two days from now. YES, two days. It's a pretty simple out patient procedure, though I'll be knocked out with a tube down my throat. I'm OK with that. I want the best possible environment for my babies so I'm willing to go through all of this for them. It really is daunting to think how much I have already gone through and still there is more. It still amazes me to see couples have babies without having gone through all of this crap. Please don't take that as a "whoa is me" sort of thing. I really am OK with this and I totally understand the reason and the need if I want to have more children, which we do.

I go in for my pre-op tomorrow morning and start PIO (progesterone in oil) butt shots on Friday-the day after the surgery. I am SOOOO not looking forward to doing those again. I haven't warned DH yet about them and I'm sure his reaction will be the same as mine. BOOOOOO!!!! In two weeks, as long as I feel ok from the surgery, I'll be doing a uterine biopsy. Then I have to sit out a cycle to let my body heal. I just hope my cramping, achy cervix feels better soon...

Arizona vs. Texas FET

This is my 100th blog post! I've now been blogging my infertility journey for three years. Crazy how fast time goes...

We now have more decisions to make regarding the FET. *sigh*

I had been calling my RE in Arizona for TWO weeks-leaving messages for someone to call me back so that I could get the process started for transporting my embryos to Texas. Who knew that only after calling TODAY and expressing how frustrated I was that NO ONE was calling me back, I finally was called. Martha, who was my IVF nurse two years ago, called me and said that it was the responsibility of my RE in Texas to figure out transportation. Uh, that's not what I was told by my TX RE! The RE here said they don't contract with a national shipping company-only local. How nice. I was told that it would cost around $1500 to ship my babies to TX. (Three years ago when I did this, I only had two embryos to ship and it cost us over $700.) Martha said that I would be better off doing the FET in AZ. She also told me that it would cost $1645 for the FET. $1645 in AZ OR $4500 in TX+$1500 shipping? Not a hard decision considering cost, though logistically it's much harder. To sweeten the pot, she told me that I could do all of my monitoring in TX (as long as my TX RE is willing-he will loose out on the $4500. The FET would still be in January...I have until Tuesday to figure it all out. I go in Monday to my TX RE to do the water u/s and uterine lining check. I'll talk to my doc then and report back!

A Tribute to Indy

My Indy Boy

I've been wanting to write a blog post on Indy but I needed some time before I could handle it...today seemed like a good day to remember him.

Indy was a crazy, unique dog. Maybe most people would say that about their pets but if you ever had the privilege of meeting Indy, you'd know it to be true.

I had been searching the Internet for a couple weeks, looking on Petfinder and the local Mountain Home shelter for a dog for our family. While Dh was out of town one week, I saw a picture of a gorgeous yellow lab in a shelter in Boise and decided I needed to meet him. I drove the hour drive and took one look at him and said, "He's my dog."I paid $23.50 and he was mine. A couple days later, Oct 2, 2006 to be exact, I got to take him home. He was laid back and oh so sweet. He had no idea how to jump on our bed, but I soon taught him. He slept with me that night and kept me warm.

Indy proved to be, what I termed, a "high needs dog" and the reason he was so sweet that night I took him home was because he was drugged from being neutered. I should have known! He needed some obedience training in the worst way so I signed him up for a basic once weekly class in Boise. Let's just say, we both learned a lot about each other. Indy was made the example for most of the training lessons and when it came time for graduation day, Indy was so obnoxious we were asked to sit in another room so he wouldn't bother the other dogs. Yikes! That very day we signed up for PRIVATE obedience classes.

Indy could be compared to Marley from the Marley and Me book. Spitting image actually. Characteristics exactly the same. He was stubborn and strong. So strong that making him do anything he didn't want to do was nearly impossible because he would use his entire body weight against me. He would climb up in my lap (he was 80+ lbs by the way) EVERY SINGLE TIME I was on the phone to try and get my attention and when I would try to get him off me, well, he wouldn't budge.

He also loved his food. He would not go outside before he ate his morning meal and then would irritate me until I fed him his dinner. I would usually cave in around 2pm because I just couldn't stand it anymore but he'd always leave me alone as soon as he got what he wanted. His favorite was bread (and butter later in his life...he'd do just about anything if he saw some). If a sandwich just happened to be left on the counter a little too long according to Indy standards, he would jump up and steal the bread but leave the meat and cheese! He once ate an entire loaf of bread that I had thrown away...too bad it was moldy and the vet had to induce vomiting. Oh Indy...

There were several times when I would look him in the eyes and tell him that I was going to sell him but that no one would buy him so I'd have to give him away. While he was probably the most annoying dog on the planet (getting in the trash EVERY TIME we left it out on accident or when he would try to "rescue" us from the pool or just stand there and bark NON stop until we got out), he was loving, always trying to please me, and worshiped the ground I walked on. He would almost never leave my side when I was home. When I showered, he would wait for me on the bathmat, watching me the entire time. Dh said that he would pace and check every room for me when I wasn't home. When I had my wisdom teeth complications, had the LAP for endo, extreme morning sickness, and my broken pelvis, Indy never left me. He would stretch out on the bed with me for as long as I was there (and during that time, I was in bed most of the day).

While I wouldn't say he was the most gentle dog (his tail could be considered a lethal weapon and could take out small children...skittle included) he had a big heart and loved everyone. Well, everyone except the men who put in sod in our yard in Idaho. That was the first and only time I had heard Indy growl at a human.

I wish I could go on and on about Indy and his silly stories and quirks (and trust me, he had MANY...just ask about how he pulled me into a lake or how he loved to steal my towels and bathmats just to make me chase him) but I'm sure you all don't want to read for days. I deeply loved that insane dog and I think he loved me that much too. He was my first baby and I thought he'd get to see Skittle grow up. I thought we had much more time with him.

Thank you to all the people gave us well wishes after we had to put him to sleep Nov 1. My heart still hurts and we miss him so, so much. It's too quiet around here without him. It's just not the same. There's no barking when a doorbell rings on TV, no horse head banging repeatedly into the back door, there's no tail sweeping the hand towels off my oven handle, and no more cuddles at night before DH comes to bed. My heart is forever changed because he lived and because he died.

(This picture is just to show how he never wanted to be away from me. I was looking back at my pregnancy pictures and Indy was in almost every single one.)

Meeting Dr. H

I decided that I was going to meet with the RE doc that I was referred to and thought of it was an interview...for HIM. Before walking in to his clinic yesterday, I wasn't sure I wanted to go there or the clinic with the better CDC stats. I got a whole lot of information yesterday and I'm going to relay it as best I can.

I haven't done any infertility treatments or testing since Dec 2009. Things have changed. Now, before I can do an FET I have to have all sorts of oh so fun testing done, AGAIN. I guess the new regulations say that all the testing has to be done within six months of any embryo transfer. I have to repeat my water u/s (sonohysterography), have a uterine biopsy, a mock embryo transfer, blood work, physical, pap smear, and a uterine lining measurement performed. I am not thrilled but I've been through it all before-except the biopsy. I understand why all of it is necessary-to have the best possible environment for the embryos-but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. Dr. H and I talked about everything infertility and I liked him...and trust me, it takes a lot for me to like a doctor. I've done this three other times, in three other states and had just about every fertility treatment and test done to me. I loved the fact that he was straight out about everything...he promised he wasn't going to do anything unnecessary and only does the minimum medications for the best possible outcomes. Before, for my first FET, I was on 10 units of Lupron injections and vaginal Estrace every day for like 45 days. Dr. H told me that Lupron does the same thing as the Estrace and it's overkill. He no longer uses Lupron for FET's. Music to my ears. Obviously, if I ovulate with only the Estrace, I'll have to do Lupron too but it's unlikely so why use both if you don't have to? I liked his reasoning a lot. He took close to an hour and a half with me, asking and answering questions. I asked how long he would follow me if I did get pregnant. He said 12-14 weeks gestation. Again, I was THRILLED to hear that. He was open and honest and reasonable. He was someone I could easily talk to and I felt like he actually worked FOR me. By the end, I was convinced this was the clinic for me and my 12 babies. I asked/talked about the CDC stats and while I didn't get a firm percentage on his live birth rates, he told me he's done hundreds of FET's (which is not what the CDC had on record for 2009) with great results. I'm going to trust him on that. I could always change docs (once the testing is done so Tricare will pick up the tab) and go with the other clinic. But for now, I am completely at peace about this decision. (oh and if you want to check out his book-one he gave me free yesterday-click here)

Now the fun begins. I've called my AZ RE to arrange transport of the embryos and have heard NOTHING back from them all day. I'm not surprised but still annoyed. I'll try again tomorrow.

I'm supposed to start 4mg of Estrace when I get AF, which is due to happen next week sometime. (yes, this is all happening this fast!!!) I went to Randolph AFB to try and fill it, but they don't carry it. Neither does Wilford Hall/BAMC...Walmart does, but get this: Tricare won't cover it. Yeah, remember how I said they would cover all my meds? Apparently, it has to be generic Estrace or they won't...and I can't have anything but the brand name according to my doctor. (which by the way I can take orally this time not vaginally so I do not have to leak the blue nastiness!!!) Walmart's Estrace: $429 for one month...ouch. I've been hooked up with Freedom Pharmacy and their cost is $329/month. I'll take it.

The FET is set for January...as long as I can pass all the testing and get it all done before then. Here we go!

Referrals are in!

I got my referrals! I requested a referral to a rheumatologist and I was matched up with the busiest rheumy around. My appt date is Feb 2! That's 3 1/2 months away from when the appt was scheduled. How nice. I'm used to the pain, though I'd like to have it somewhat controlled and waiting another 3 months wasn't exactly MY plan...

I also got my infertility referral. However, there is good news and bad news. Good news: I don't have to deal with BAMC! And I got an appt for NEXT WEEK. Bad news: Tricare is not contracted with the clinic I wanted. I looked up the CDC stats for the one I was matched with and it isn't so great. For 2009, they only did 3 frozen transfers which resulted in ZERO live births. And, here's the kicker...it will cost us $4500 each transfer. That is more than double what I was expecting. I called Tricare about it and they said I could still go to the clinic I wanted ($2850 for an FET) but EVERYTHING is out of pocket. I will typically have lab work every other day for the first two weeks costing us $80-120 a pop. That also doesn't include u/s's which run $150-220 every other day plus doctors fees. I'm sure each cycle would end up being close to $4500 anyway...what would you do??? Ah the hold insurance companies have on us...

I'll let you all know what happens next week.

Halloween

I'm not sure where I stand on Halloween as a holiday. My sister and I got to pick out a Halloween costume pattern with my aunt every summer and then she would ship the final elaborate product to us every October. We grew up going to Halloween parties (and winning ALL the costume contests) and trick or treating. I loved it as a kid. I want Skittle to have fond memories of dressing up and getting candy but I also know that Halloween has a much deeper meaning, one that I don't agree with. I'm really torn on it. Until we decide, I've gone a little crazy with Halloween outfits (and even pajamas). Here are some pictures to prove it.

ie Mom's

A friend invited me to her church for a bible study in New Braunfels a couple months ago and while I was extremely hesitant to go, I'm glad I did. (If anyone knows me, they know that I have a VERY very difficult time walking into new situations or meeting new people and honestly, I don't do a good job of hiding that fact. I tend to be stand off-ish and quiet, probably making myself look stuck up and rude. I am so sorry if I've ever come across that way to anyone. I've been working on it...I wish I knew why I was like that.) Anyway, The study was on the Psalms of Accent done by Beth Moore. We finished the 7 week study last Monday and a couple of us decided we would transfer over to another bible study called ie Mom's. Being my typical Angie self, I was nervous about meeting new mothers and coming in to the group 7 weeks late. I was put at a table with six other women who were a wide spread of ages-though, I was definitely the youngest. Of course, today they decide to have a raffle type drawing for mentors and since I was "young" I got a ticket. The first numbers were called out and the winner got a coffee date with an older women to "swap stories". I was seriously praying (yes, PRAYING to GOD) that my numbers wouldn't be called. While I liked the idea of being mentored, I want to do it on my own terms and when I am ready. Thank goodness I wasn't chosen! What I didn't realize was that there were TWO mentors being auctioned off. The lady reading the numbers said it would be "L" who was the mentor and the women were all excited and oohing and ahhing. (I had no idea who it was nor did I really care.) The second set of numbers were called out and no one came forward. They redrew the numbers and while I was looking down and trying not to pay attention, 990 was called. Guess who had that lucky ticket? YEAH, ME. OF COURSE, the lady reading the numbers said, "Oh that is Angie! She's new!" right up in front of everyone and all eyes were on me. I wanted to curl up in a ball under the table or pass out, one or the other. Come to find out, "L" is the one leading the bible study. How lovely. I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS. After the study was over, I ducked out pretty quickly, though I do want to mention that I did look around for "L" to exchange phone numbers but I didn't see her though I didn't really try that hard. *SIGH* "L" called me today to set up a time to talk. I didn't want to sound like the horrible rotten person that I am so I agreed to meet with her next week. I now have to find a babysitter for a lunch date that I am dreading. While in the end, I'm sure it will be fine (albeit awkward), I think I'd rather pass a kidney stone then go through with it. Ok, wait, no, not a kidney stone but maybe a severe beating.

Here we go again...

I've decided that I'm going to blog in a lot of detail about our next TTC (for those who have forgotten-TTC=trying to conceive) journey of frozen embryo transfers (FET). My goal is to educate you on what I'm going through and what your friend may be going through. It is slightly different for a military dependant but I still think you all can get something out of this.


I started the referral process today to find a local reproductive endocrinologist (RE). Now, because we live in the Air Force mecca of medical care, I get to deal with a potential challenge called Brooks Army Medical Center (BAMC). In the past, Wilford Hall actually had infertility treatments available for close to nothing out of pocket. The catch is that you had to be referred by your primary care doc and then you were put on a waiting list, which according to someone I know who went there to do IVF, was a year's wait. That year long wait to do IVF is after infertility testing and three cycles of mandatory IUI's before proceeding. Then if everything goes according to plan, you can begin the IVF process during one of three offered times during the year. Because (right now) I don't need to do IVF (and frankly I never want to again) only FET's, I'm not sure what happens. From what I've heard, they don't deal with frozen embryos. Perhaps it's a storage issue. My primary doc put in the referral to them and I'm currently waiting to hear if I've been accepted into the program. For the record, I don't want to be and I shouldn't be! I was told that I should be able to get all meds for my FET for free by using the BAMC pharmacy. I will sing the praises of Tricare on that one. While all of my follicle stimulating meds were paid out of pocket, (uh, try $50/vial and 30-35 vials a cycle) all the other meds for IVF were covered under Tricare (and trust me, there were TONS of other meds). The thing with FET's is that my ovaries don't have to be stimulated...though they do have to be controlled. All of those meds are covered under Tricare. I am MORE than happy to go civilian on this and pay my co-pays. An IVF cycle in AZ ran about $6000/cycle plus meds. A FET is about $2000/cycle plus meds.


BAMC's CDC stats are great for fresh IVF, the highest I've ever seen actually. There are no stats for frozen transfers though, which is what I thought. The clinic that I want to go to has a 50% live birth rate for frozen transfers. Just so you know, that's amazing.


I still have some very, very mixed emotions about how many frozen embryos we still have. But, I am so so thankful that I don't have to do IVF again (right now) and that we have potentially 6 "tries" with the remaining babies. Our first step of this journey is underway and oddly enough, I'm excited.

Car Seat Safety...a No Brainer!

(I know the chest clip is not high enough in this picture!)

I don't know...maybe I'm opinionated. I really didn't think I was all that judgemental about mommy things. All I'm blogging about is what we are doing with Skittle, not trying to push any agenda or lifestyle on anyone. Cloth vs. disposable diapers? Do what works and what is easiest! Formula feed? Breast feed? Do what you feel is right for YOU and your kid...who cares? Yeah, I know breast feeding is best but shoot sometimes you just can't do it. (I'm a PRIME example!) Vaccinate your kids-or don't, it's UP TO YOU. Making all your baby food from scratch? Good on you! All I ask is that you do your own research and make your decisions based on that. BUT, one thing that I do care about is a rear facing carseat! It is the safest way for a kid to ride! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends your child be at least two years old now to ride forward facing. Yes, I know that the LAW is still one year old AND at least 20 lbs but my skittle has not hit the 20 lb requirement and even if she did, I've seen too much research (all you have to do is Google rear-facing carseats...you'll see what I mean!) that says rear facing is by far the safest place for my child. Why wouldn't you want your kid to be safe??!?!? I'd rather have my child break her legs (rear-facing) then her neck (forward-facing) in a severe crash. Obviously, the reason I'm writing this is because someone challenged that idea and it irritated me enough to write a short blog on my feelings.

Some of my research:
-Rear-facing car seats spread frontal crash forces over the whole area of a child's back, head and neck; they also prevent the head from snapping relative to the body in a frontal crash.

-Rear-facing is safest for both adults and children, but especially for babies, who would face a greater risk of spinal cord injury in a front-facing carseat during a frontal crash.

-Rear-facing carseats may not be quite as effective in a rear end crash, but severe frontal and frontal offset crashes are far more frequent and far more severe than severe rear end crashes.


Rear-facing carseats are NOT a safety risk just because a child's legs are bent at the knees or because they can touch/kick the vehicle seat.

Rear-facing as long as possible is the recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatricians, and can reduce injuries and deaths. Motor vehicle crashes are the #1overall cause of death for children 14 and under.

There are a ton of videos out there showing a crash impact difference of a child who is rear facing vs one who is forward facing. That evidence alone made up my mind. She won't know the difference between the two until I turn her around! Do your research before you start spouting "we turned her forward because she just didn't look comfortable" or "my doctor said it was OK." Why would your doc say it was OK now that the recommendations have changed? Mine specifically said not to turn her until she was two years old! Humm...gets my blood boiling!

13 Months!

My kid is 13 months! Here is a quick update on what she's up to these days.

Favorite things:

Book: Goodnight Moon
Word: Dada
Animal: Duck
Toy: A ball or her books
Food: Turkey hot dogs
Fruit: Pears
Game: "I'm gonna get you!"
Favorite Color: BLUE


Silly things:
She loves to twirl/spin in a circle then tries to walk and falls down laughing
She says, "Whoa, whoa" when she runs into something or falls down
She says, "moo" when she sees a cow
She's still obsessed with anything blue
If her headband falls off, she tries to put it back on


New words:
Banana
Nose
Ball
Leaf
Yes
More
Bye-bye
Hi
Pa pa (for grandpa)

The Great Debate

Oh boy. It's been a day. Dh and I went to Skittle's one year well baby appt (3 weeks late-their fault, not mine) today. I like her new pedi well enough. He actually took a lot of time with us, which surprised me. She's dropped to the 7th percentile for weight (18lbs 5 oz) but holding steady at the 65th percentile for height (29 3/4 inches) and 17th percentile for head circ. She's a little string bean (too bad she won't eat them...maybe that would help!) and mighty cute. She's walking everywhere and into everything (isn't that the way it should be!?). She's full of energy and full of life. She had to have her iron and lead levels checked too. They actually had to take two vials of blood from her little arm! She watched everything and didn't make a peep until they were done and bandaging her up (notice her arm in the above pic). Then she cried just until we left the room. And then-we walked to immunizations.

I know everyone has an opinion on vaccinations. Let's call them vax for short. Most people are either very FOR or very AGAINST. I am against all that use aborted fetuses. Yes, you read that right. There are several vax that use ABORTED FETUS. MMR is one of them. When I brought that fact up to my new pedi, he said that there was no way the FDA could approve the use of human tissue/cells in vaccines. Well, they did.

This is from the Merck package insert on the M-M-R II rubella section,"the Wistar RA 27/3 strain of live attenuated rubella virus propagated in WI-38 human diploid lung fibroblasts.1,2
1. Plotkin, S.A.; Cornfeld, D.; Ingalls, T.H.: Studies of immunization with living rubella virus: Trials in children with a strain cultured
from an aborted fetus, Am. J. Dis. Child. 110: 381-389, 1965.
2. Plotkin, S.A.; Farquhar, J.; Katz, M.; Ingalls, T.H.: A new attenuated rubella virus grown in human fibroblasts: Evidence for
reduced nasopharyngeal excretion, Am. J. Epidemiol. 86: 468-477, 1967.

Bold emphasis is mine.

(I just have to add that the vaccine is called RA 27/3 because the rubella virus was isolated from the 27th aborted fetus sent to the Wistar Institute in the 1964 rubella outbreak. The first 26 fetuses sent to Wistar had been aborted by doctors because the mothers had rubella during pregnancy.)

I have a very serious problem with that. Other articles I've been reading make a correlation between the use of human DNA in vax and that of autism. Now, am I saying that the MMR vax CAUSES autism, NO but could there be correlation between the two, YES. From former drug company scientist Helen Ratajczak, "An additional increased spike in incidence of autism occured in 1995 when the chicken pox vaccine was grown in human fetal tissue." (Ratajczak, page 70, Theoretical Aspects of Autism: Causes-A Review)

I am still trying to find hard evidence (other than the say so of other articles) of the use of aborted embryos in other vax. According to Dr. Mercola from Mercola.com, not only does MMR have them, Varicella, Hepatitis A and Rabies do too. You all have no idea how much that disturbs me. It shakes me up. This might sound harsh but I have to agree, "How can a person be pro life and NOT object to the use of these vaccines? For someone who is pro life to discover that a vaccine contains DNA from aborted fetuses is like a Muslim finding out that a vaccine is derived from pork" (Mercola, page 3, July 10, 2011) Any other Christians out there seem to find issue with this as much as I do!?!?

Skittle ended up getting a fourth round of Hep B (the clinic in AZ messed up her schedule-so she had to have it again-isn't that nice), Pneumococcal PCV-13, Hib, and Hep A. I insisted that we wait for the MMR and I refused the Chicken pox vax. The pedi actually said he wasn't even going to bring up the Flu vax cause he said we'd deny that one too. He was right.

What I don't understand is why do some vax have to use human cells, while others like Hep B are prepared with yeast cells. To quote Mercola once more, "So, why don't manufacturers avoid using human cells altogether and instead opt for less controversial methods? I suspect there is little incentive for vaccine manufacturers to develop and test new vaccines when they are already profiting from existing ones." Makes sense to me.

So, Christians, what are you going to do about it?

My birthday girl!

(Her shirt says, "I'm the birthday girl!" That's the best pic I could get of it!)

Paisley is one! Both DH and I cannot believe that our baby is one year old. I know this will sound absurd but I still have a hard time thinking that *I* am a mother and that I have a child of my own. Sometimes I just look at her and think about how that before I got pg I truly thought I'd never have a baby. God is so good. But you know, I have to say that even if God didn't allow us to be parents, He would still be good.

DH decided that we should invite everyone he works with to P's party. I went along with it and while it sure was a lot of work, I loved it. (Hey, the first birthday is all about the parents anyway!) I did research online and found that unique handmade decor was pretty expensive so I decided to make my own. I've had a Cricut die-cut machine for almost two years and got frustrated when I tried to use it. Well, since I have a bit more time on my hands since we've moved, I pulled out that old Cricut and found that it's one really cool invention-and if I just messed with it for a while, I could actually make some awesome looking paper decor! I could make banners that were selling on Etsy.com for around $30 for about $5. (I already had all the paper and photo stickers to mount it.) The photo banner cost a bit more but again, people were charging around $30 for one. I strung together a series of 13 photos ranging from new born to 12 months. It was a big hit!

The party was a butterfly/flower theme. Here are a couple pics of my cupcakes and favors.

I did end up buying the edible butterfly cupcake toppers from Etsy because there was no way I was even going to think of attempting that. They were life like and while the didn't taste good AT ALL, they were pretty.

I know you all probably don't care about all the details I'm sharing with you but shoot, this is the first birthday party I've ever thrown and I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.

Here's a pic of P "helping" me with the party favors. I made my own bubble tins! The wands were pip cleaners and I made a sticker label with her party info and a thank you tag. The kids loved them!

She was given some super fun gifts from family and even though we asked the party-goers not to bring gifts, some still did anyway. She loved EVERYTHING.

She wanted nothing to do with her cupcake and when my sister tried to get her to try the icing, she still didn't want to. It wasn't the big cake smash as I was hoping, but that's OK.

Thanks to everyone who came and who helped! I don't plan on having a party next year as this one wore me out! :) Chuck E Cheese all the way!

A word on Faith

Once again we find ourselves in a new town which to us equals finding a new church. We've been to four different churches in the San Antonio area and none are quite right. In Arizona, we just walked into the first church we tried and said, "This is our church home." That hasn't been the case here. The real issue comes down to what we want in a church. Where does God want us? But really is it what we WANT in a church or where God can use us the most? Do we want a pastor with a challenging message? Great worship? Ministry opportunities? (Am I even asking the right questions?) I've asked several born again Christian believers why they picked the church they did and each person gave me a different answer as to why they were there. Some answers: The people. The worship. The message.


We visited a big name church here in town and it was more like a coffee shop with a churchy set up. Big fluffy couches, table and chairs in the sanctuary to drink your coffee as you listen and sing, and candles EVERYWHERE. While I'm not saying that is wrong, it sure was different. I don't want to dissect each church we have gone to but this process is a bit frustrating.


Pray that we would be where God wants us to be-and that we wouldn't be attending a church because WE want to but because God does.


Pray for a smooth transition and balance for Dh as he deals with his new time sucking job.

Pray that I would get back on track with my daily devotions. (I'm VERY behind since we moved!!!)


P has been such a trooper during all of the changes. She's been in a new church nursery what seems like every week. (SA area plus MN and Houston) Every time the volunteers there say she acts like she's been a million times. Never any problems and a little social bug. I sure could learn a thing or two from her!

11 Months!

P is now 11 months old! "They" say time flies with kids...and it's so true. Last year at this time I was pregnant and in the hospital with kidney stones...I still can remember all too well that- throw me to the ground, let me vomit all over you from the pain-PAIN. Anyway, just wanted to say a bit of what my little miss is doing these days.


She's still cruising/running along furniture and has all the muscles to walk but just doesn't have the confidence yet. She's taken 3-4 steps many many times but then sits down and crawls. Surprisingly, I am very OK with her not walking yet.


She's eating so much better these days. She's also semi-mastered the sippy cup but still doesn't like drinking anything out of an open cup unless she's in the bathtub.


She's into pretend play and loves to mimic me. She "feeds" her baby milk and pours "tea" from her tea pot to her tea cups. It's just so cute! She also LOVES to read.

Talking on the phone:

She's also trying to talk. She says mama, dada, dog, duck, night-night, has said yes twice, and my favorite: NO-NO. I swear she didn't learn it from us telling her no, but from us telling Indy no a billion times a day. Poor dog.

We've also started story time at our local library. She absolutely LOVES it. She could sit there for hours reading and listening to stories...she's just like her daddy!

ETA: I forgot to mention that she has also learned some of her body parts! She can point to her nose and ears and pats her belly when asked where they are. She'll even point to our noses if asked, "Where is mama's/dada's nose?" She's growing up too fast!!

A word on infertilty

People have asked if/when we are going to try for another baby. It's hard to answer them. I had always made it a point to NEVER ask someone if they planned on having children or if they wanted more. What's funny is that I actually don't mind them asking me now. I sure used to though. I would almost be in tears over it. I knew how it felt to desperately want children and I didn't want others feeling like that if they too couldn't have kids. The journey for Skittle was painful, heartbreaking, joyful, and yet, in the end, wonderful-but with that said, I'm not too anxious to do it again. My husband thinks that we should "knock some more out" (his words, NOT mine) and I then remind him of the shots, the what ifs/miscarriages, morning sickness, kidney stones, and a separated pelvis. He then says, "and wasn't she worth it?"

When we decide that we want to jump on the baby making roller coaster again, it will be with an infertility specialist once more. We'll be attempting FET's (Frozen Embryo Transfers) with our remaining 12 embryos. There are MANY questions without answers right now as to how we're going to do it but from the medical prospective, it's much easier then the rounds of IVF I previously went through. (I'll explain the FETs in more detail later.)

I'm not going to assume that the FET will work on the first try. I'm not going to assume that if it does, that it will lead to a take home healthy baby (or two).

Infertility sucks. The things women (and men) go through to have a child is incredible. Does it make the bond between a mother and her baby just that much stronger? Life is a gift. A God given beautiful gift...whether through IVF or otherwise. Never take for granted your ability to have children. I know I won't.

A word on cloth

I'm still doing cloth diapers with Skittle. Although, I don't when we are traveling. I just don't care to do laundry on vacation (if I can help it) and cloth does require some laundering. Overall, cloth is pretty easy-at least the kind I've bought (Bumgenius, all-in-ones, which are just like disposables). Now, don't get me wrong. I'm NOT opposed to disposables at all. They have their place. I just prefer cloth. There are two things I DON'T like about cloth though.

1. The bulk. That gets me every time. With disposables, Skittle wears 9 month clothes. With cloth-well, it's anywhere from 12 months to 18 months. Jeans? Forget it. The poor kid can't breath if I put her in cloth with jeans.

2. Poo diapers. Before we introduced solid foods, poo diapers just got tossed in with her other pee diapers and there was no fuss. (and never any staining!!!) Now? Well, it's unpleasant. Esp. without a utility sink in the laundry room. The poo has to be jiggled off in the toilet (that is IF it's jiggle-able) and well, it STINKS-literally.

Cloth certainly has its advantages, however. I never find myself out of diapers and having to run to the store at an inconvenient time. I don't mind doing the extra laundry and when we're hanging out in the house, Skittle just wears a cloth diaper and a t-shirt...and she looks mighty cute if I do say so myself. Cloth wipes are always great (Dh actually prefers those over disposables) and ubber easy.

If any of you want to try cloth or are just interested in it but don't know where to start, email me and I'll help you out. It's easier than you think!

Success!

Now at 10 months, my little Skittle is finally feeding herself! She's figured it out! In the pictures below, she's eating roast beef. Meat is her favorite right now but she'll eat just about anything her little fingeres can pick up. She even yells at me while staring at my plate letting me know she wants more. I'm still having a lot of trouble getting her to eat purees (applesauce, yogurt, oatmeal), as in she won't open her mouth AT ALL. Now if I could just get her to drink from a cup and not throw it over the side of her highchair onto Indy's head...

At her 9 month appt, the doc said she looked great even though she wasn't eating hardly anything at that point. He wasn't worried about it and said she'd figure it out...who knew he'd actually be right! She weighed 16 lbs 1 oz and was 27 1/2 inches tall. She finally went past the 10th percentile-all the way to the 12th!

Homesick

For some reason I don't feel like I have a lot to write about. We did successfully move to Texas and while our house is very nice, it's just not Arizona. I'm actually quite homesick. I LOVE AZ weather, the fact that there were very little bugs, the wide open spaces, and the big sky. I haven't lived in a big city for over 5 years now. I miss my small AZ military town. The heat here in Texas is KILLER. Well, maybe it's not the heat, it's the humidity...I just can't get used to it. I do have to say that the one super great thing about being in TX is how close we are to family. My father in law comes over all the time and I LOVE it. I also love being able to jump in the car and drive to see my sister and parents who are just three hrs away.

I wish I could upload some new pictures but the camera cord has yet to be found. Here are a couple of Skittle when she was one week old:

Ahh, looks like my little stinkbug is now awake and cruising along in her crib....until next time...